In the System (No Stats)

You are Jordan. You're 29, uninsured, and mentally unwell. You’ve been feeling worse for months, but it’s hard to know what’s real anymore. Do you: * [[Call a community health clinic]] * [[Go to the emergency room]] * [[Stay home and try to manage alone]]

You call the nearest community clinic. After 45 minutes on hold, you’re told the waitlist is 6 months. Do you: * [[Ask to be added to the waitlist]] * [[Hang up out of frustration]]

You wait 9 hours in the ER. A tired doctor briefly assesses you, says you’re “not in immediate danger,” and gives you a hotline number. Do you: * [[Call the hotline later]] * [[Leave feeling hopeless]]

You stay home. You try deep breathing and journaling, but the sense of dread doesn’t lift. Do you: * [[Try again tomorrow]] * [[Withdraw further]]

You’re added. You’ll hear back in “a few months,” they say. There’s no confirmation. No follow-up. Do you: * [[Try calling a different clinic]] * [[Wait it out]]

You hang up. You feel ashamed for hoping. Do you: * [[Search online for support groups]] * [[Do nothing]]

You speak to someone kind, but they aren’t able to offer services directly. They give you another number. Do you: * [[Call the second number]] * [[Give up for the night]]

You leave with a paper in your hand and no idea what to do next. Do you: * [[Try a walk-in clinic next week]] * [[Tear up the paper and stay home]]

You try again. The same clinic. Still on hold. Still nothing new. * [[Repeat the call]] * [[Stop trying]]

You stop responding to texts. You sleep too much or not at all. You stop eating regularly. * [[Call 911 in a moment of crisis]] * [[Let it continue]]

The new clinic requires proof of residency and income documents you don’t have right now. Do you: * [[Try to gather the documents]] * [[Give up]]

Three months pass. You never receive a call back. You call again; they say they lost your file. * [[Start over]] * [[Stop trying]]

You find some online groups, but they’re full of spam and feel unsafe. * [[Join anyway]] * [[Back out]]

You spend the rest of the day in bed, scrolling your phone and feeling detached. * [[Try again tomorrow]] * [[Stop trying altogether]]

This agency only works with court referrals. They suggest you “go back to the ER.” * [[Go back to the ER]] * [[Slam the phone down and cry]]

You curl up in bed and stare at the wall. Hours pass. * [[Try again tomorrow]] * [[Stop trying altogether]]

You get there early, but they’re already at capacity and turn you away. * [[Come back another day]] * [[Walk away and don’t return]]

It flutters into the trash. You don’t talk to anyone that day. * [[Call the hotline again tomorrow]] * [[Stay silent]]

Paramedics arrive. You’re taken to the hospital and held for 48 hours. You speak to three different staff. None of them explain what comes next. * [[You’re discharged without follow-up]] * [[You demand help before leaving]]

You become unable to care for yourself. You miss rent and get an eviction notice. * [[Call a shelter]] * [[Sleep in your car]]

You gather what you can, but your printer doesn’t work, and the library’s closed. * [[Miss the deadline]] * [[Keep trying anyway]]

You post once. Someone mocks your story. You delete your account. * [[Feel worse]] * [[Try an in-person group]]

You close the browser. Maybe tomorrow. * [[Try again tomorrow]]

You're back where you began. You know more now, but it hasn’t helped yet. * [[Call a community health clinic]] * [[Go to the emergency room]]

You fade into isolation. Nobody checks in. It gets harder to tell how long it's been. * [[The End]]

They recognize you. You wait 6 hours. This time, they offer a crisis bed — for 3 nights. * [[Accept the crisis bed]] * [[Refuse and go home]]

You cry for an hour, then go numb. * [[Try again tomorrow]] * [[Withdraw completely]]

You come earlier. You get in this time. They schedule a therapist — but it's just an intern with 10-minute check-ins. * [[Attend once]] * [[Don’t go]]

You walk home. Nobody notices you didn’t get help. * [[Stop trying altogether]]

They hand you a paper and tell you to “follow up with outpatient.” That’s it. * [[Try to find outpatient services]] * [[Go home and give up]]

A social worker gives you a referral — but the wait is 3–5 months. * [[Get on the waitlist]] * [[Refuse and leave angry]]

The shelter is full. They tell you to call back tomorrow. * [[Call back]] * [[Sleep on a bench]]

You sleep in your car, paranoid. The police knock on your window at 3 AM. * [[Drive away]] * [[Explain yourself]]

Your file is closed. You have to start over. * [[Start over]]

Eventually, someone at the front desk helps you print what you need. * [[Turn in paperwork and wait]]

It confirms your fear: nobody really cares. * [[Stop trying]]

The church basement smells like mildew. But someone says something that resonates. * [[Keep going]] * [[Never return]]

You stay 3 nights. There’s no follow-up. You leave with a packet. * [[Try again from scratch]] * [[Lose hope]]

You go home and lock the door. You don’t leave for days. * [[Withdraw completely]]

You find a number online. You leave a message. They never call back. * [[Leave another message]] * [[Give up]]

You spend the evening in bed, lights off, still in your clothes. * [[The End]]

You’re added. Nobody says when you’ll hear back. * [[Wait six months]] * [[Check in weekly]]

You yell in the lobby and security is called. You leave in shame. * [[Go home]] * [[Go to a different ER next time]]

Still full. * [[Call back again]] * [[Give up]]

You barely sleep. In the morning, someone hands you a flier for a food pantry. * [[Go to the pantry]] * [[Throw it away]]

You find another street to park on. You sleep fitfully. * [[Wake up sore and groggy]]

They check your ID, run your name, then let you go. But the anxiety sticks. * [[Drive away]]

You're approved… for a consult in four months. * [[Wait it out]] * [[Try somewhere else]]

You make one friend. You exchange numbers. It's a lifeline. * [[The End]]

You never go back. No one follows up. * [[The End]]

You begin again. You know more this time — but it doesn’t get easier. * [[Start over]]

You curl up and stay in bed for two days. * [[Try again later]] * [[The End]]

You don’t answer messages or open the mail. * [[The End]]

Another voicemail. Another week of silence. * [[Try another agency]] * [[Give up]]

When they finally call, you miss it. * [[Call them back]] * [[Give up]]

Each time, they say you're “still on the list.” * [[Eventually give up]]

The door closes. The silence is loud. * [[The End]]

Same result: discharge, flier, no plan. * [[The End]]

Still full. * [[Try another city]] * [[Give up]]

You sit in the quiet, wondering what else you could’ve done. * [[The End]]

You get food. You see a bulletin board with a mental health flyer. * [[Take the flyer and follow up]] * [[Ignore it]]

You toss it. Too tired to hope. * [[The End]]

You stretch, start the car, and wonder if today will be any different. * [[Start over]]

They tell you their caseload is full. * [[Try again in two weeks]] * [[Stop trying]]

Voicemail again. * [[Leave another message]] * [[The End]]

It’s easier not to hope. * [[The End]]

They tell you they can’t help non-residents. * [[The End]]

The number connects. Intake scheduled — in four weeks. * [[Try to hang on]] * [[Forget and miss it]]

You don’t even glance at it. * [[The End]]

You make it to intake. They say you qualify for group therapy. * [[Join group therapy]] * [[Decline and walk out]]

You wake up too late. It’s already over. * [[The End]]

(set: $Hope to $Hope + 2)(set: $Energy to $Energy + 1)(set: $SystemTrust to $SystemTrust + 1) You attend a group. People speak honestly. You don’t say much, but you feel less alone. After three sessions, someone stays after to talk. You realize: this might be slow, but it’s not nothing. * [[Keep attending]] * [[Pause for now and return later]]

You leave. The receptionist barely looks up. * [[The End]]

You call again. The same hold music. The same disconnection. * [[Try calling a different clinic]] * [[Give up]]

You attend once. The therapist is distracted, reading from a checklist. * [[Decide not to go again]] * [[Give them another chance]]

You skip the appointment. No one follows up. * [[Stop trying]] * [[Try again later]]

You try again the next day. The person on the line gives you another referral. * [[Follow the new referral]] * [[Hang up halfway through]]

You say nothing to anyone. The world outside continues without you. * [[The End]]

You delete all your saved numbers and block your friend. * [[The End]]

This is where your story pauses — not because it ends, but because it stalls. * [[Start over]] * [[Close your eyes and rest]]

You call back in two weeks. Still full, but now they ask if you'd like to stay on a waiting list. * [[Join the list]] * [[Give up]]

A small part of you still wants help. * [[Call a community health clinic]] * [[Go to the emergency room]]

You try another provider across town, but they only serve insured clients. * [[Start over]]

It leads to another intake — but the next available slot is 47 days out. * [[Take the appointment]] * [[Decline]]

You drop the phone, overwhelmed and shaking. * [[Lie in bed for hours]]

You decide it's not worth your energy. * [[Stop trying]]

(set: $Hope to $Hope + 1)(set: $SystemTrust to $SystemTrust + 1) You attend again. The intern seems more present this time. You’re not sure it’s working, but you’re being heard. * [[The End (Slow Healing)]]

You're on the list. You wait. You check in. Months pass. * [[The End]]

You write it on a sticky note and try to keep it in sight. * [[Wait and attend]]

You decide it’s not worth waiting again. * [[The End]]

Your limbs feel heavy. You don’t move until the light fades. * [[The End]]

(set: $Hope to $Hope + 2)(set: $Energy to $Energy - 1) You show up. You share a little. The therapist doesn’t fix you — but they don’t minimize you either. * [[The End (Beginning)]]

You drift into sleep. Tomorrow is uncertain. * [[Start over]]

(set: $Hope to $Hope + 1)(set: $Energy to $Energy - 1) You make a friend. You start texting between sessions. Sometimes they check on you before you even think to reach out. * [[The End (Stability)]]

(set: $Hope to $Hope - 1)(set: $Energy to $Energy + 1) You step away for a week but return. They remember you. * [[The End (Resilience)]]

You have one foot on solid ground. It took months, and the system didn’t help much — but someone did. ''This is a better ending.''

You’re still here. You step in and out of care, but now, when things collapse, you don’t collapse with them.

You’re not cured. You still struggle. But something about being listened to — even imperfectly — matters.

It’s not much, but it’s more than you had before: a voice, a file, a name in the system. Sometimes, that’s enough.